Love Love Love and Love again!
This is the subject that is never out of vogue in Indian movies. The times have changed, from sending messages through birds to tweeting but Love remains. This is one human emotion that has guaranteed returns for producers, whether its combination of rich boy- poor girl or poor girl – rich boy, good for nothing boy-calm girl and now boy-boy, girl-girl.
How do the male and female lead fall in love? Boy sees this most beautiful girl in the whole world and suddenly realizes he is a man! Till that point the boy remains a stone unmoved to any other woman and this girl appears out of nowhere and Sun rises for the boy. He sends signals through his sly smile, send messages through her friends, send letters, sings song. The female lead remains unmoved by this unrelenting attention.
Then one day she sees a benevolent act of our hero, and she falls for him! It could be as simple as donating a Rupee to a beggar, helping an old man cross a busy road, stopping his bike for children to pass by! The young people who look for ways to woo a girl miss this simple point – following a traffic rule may help you get a girl! If benevolence does not work then she gets to see the hero’s masculinity through beating bad guys. These so called bad guys need to be given Oscars for their acting. Its very difficult to act being beaten while they could have easily overpowered the hero with single hand.
We might have seen many instances in real life where a not so good looking guy gets a very beautiful girl. Everyone asks how. Without pondering much we just brush it aside saying “Love is blind”. In Bollywood movies, a girl falls for silly reasons – beating bad buys, helping friend’s love, helping her father!, singing and pestering her in public! Every time I see such movies, I wish young boys do not take girls for granted.
Most of these movies end by the time they overcome all the rich-poor, caste, regional obstacles. Not many dare to show what happens after they get married! After the initial sparks are replaced by little skirmishes, much more love (patience) is needed between them to stay together!
One of my college teachers (with a broken heart) has given us a lesson on love! Never he stayed for length of class except that day. He said there is no scientific basis for Love. You cannot prove love! May be, he is still grappling with why his love interest rejected him. Love between two young individuals is as natural as a plant’s tendency to blossom. Feeling love is natural but we expect that a particular person feel the same about you. Without approaching the boy/girl, talking to them, you expect them to feel your love! If that does not happen, you curse everyone, everything. Even a sunflower bends towards Sun for more light so do something or look somewhere else. But youngsters should never take the extreme step of harming themselves or the other person. Relax and look at all the married people, I am pretty sure your anger dies down! Do not think you will be different, keeping two people together needs much more than love. If love alone keeps people together, then there would be no divorces. All those vows of “staying together until death makes us apart” will evaporate if you do not open up your life to accommodate the other person.
We have seen many instances where physical and emotional togetherness do not last long and people suffer the separation. While women demand more attention, men turn wayward. In India, there are no vows in a marriage, its an energy process where energies of the two individuals are matched to function as one. While this has watered down to minimal rituals, its expected that this process be repeated every year. This does not happen anymore. It could be the reason why marriage is bliss for only an year for many!
Sadhguru says: “The English expression, “Falling in love,” is significant because no one rises in love or climbs in love. You fall in love, because something of who you are has to go. If not the whole of you, at least a part of you should collapse. Only then there is a love affair. You are willing to destroy a bit of yourself for the sake of the other. It essentially means someone else has become far more important than yourself”
If we think “Love is a quality but not a transaction”, then there is no suffering, no heart break, just love, love, love and love again….